Valentine Banfegha Ngalim
(Admitted to the seminary as prospective seminarian in 1997/1998 academic year at the Bishop Rogan College, Soppo, Buea Diocese.
Subsequently sent to Saint John Mary Vianney Centre, Bafut, in the Archdiocese of Bamenda in 1998/1999 academic year.)
Admitted into Saint Thomas Aquinas Major Seminary (STAMS), Bambui in 1999/2000 academic year, as seminarian for Kumbo Diocese.
My motivation to become a priest grew from my childhood experiences of Church activities around Kumbo Cathedral where my Family was resident and where I attended primary school in STS Kumbo. It was the pride of every child to be referred to as a prospective priest, owing to our experience of the funeral of Bernard Fonlon Nsokika. The presence of Archbishop Verdzekov, Bishop Awah, Cardinal Tumi, that time Bishop of Yagoua and a host of priests provided the grandeur of the life of someone who aspired to be a priest or Bishop. This experience coupled with a series of ordinations with the solemnity of the Litania Sanctuorum gave my friends and I one ambition in life. To be a priest and be a great man in society. This was the only greatness I knew as a child and I did not know anyone could even be more than a priest. These experiences were reinforced by the football equipment and games put at the disposal of mass servants by Rev. Fr. Roland Berngeh, when he was curate and school manager. I played in the midfield and at times a winger. When defenders were rare, I took the challenge to demonstrate my polyvalence. Again, I was one of the privileged mass servants selected by Rev. Fr Yilaka Anthony to go around the Diocese with Bishop Cornelius Fontem Esua, now Emeritus Archbishop of Bamenda, to serve at Pontifical High Episcopal masses of the Sacrament of Confirmation. This gave me the feelings to think I was the chosen one, since I was often the Mitre/ Crotia bearer. While in class 6 primary school in 1989, I felt episcopable and I did not bother if I missed classes to travel with the Bishop and serve at Pontifical High masses. These experiences gave me the necessary energy to stay focused on my objective for the priesthood right from primary school to my completion of secondary school.
I entered the seminary with extravagant ambitions founded on my childhood experiences. I studied with one focus and I think I was an extremist. I knew nothing but for the priesthood. My classmates reminded me on several occasions that if I were dismissed, I will be frustrated. This is principally because I was very ambitious about the priesthood to the extent that I demonstrated instances of overzealousness. The zeal kept me focused. I gave no quarter to mediocrity. While in Philosophy, I was already preparing the type of sermons I had to preach and setting myself for a particular brand of the priesthood. The zeal I had for the priesthood was both my strength and my weakness. My strength because it kept me focused but my weakness because very little things could throw me off the scale and Saint Aloysius Gongaza was my model. I was accused of having a scrupulous conscience on several counselling sessions.
By the end of my second year and third year, so many things happened and so much water passed under the bridge. I was experiencing a diminishing return to my ambitions to this sacred priesthood. The zeal I had for wearing the cloak was disappearing and the ambitions to pray and sing in Latin was no longer regular. This negative energy was coupled with the fact that I was also experiencing a diminishing return on academic output. Academic output is always one of the criteria I use to measure my seriousness in a particular environment. I was not ready for mediocrity, either I was an excellent candidate for the priesthood, who should score a Summa cum Laude Probatus, or even manage a Magna Cum Laude Probatus and prepare a good career in this vocation, or I was not even a priest at all. I was giving no quarter to mediocrity for this is the only thing I had to offer the church. The B-Phil was going to tell me whether I was a good candidate for Bambui seminary priesthood or I needed to find alternative ways of getting the same objective attained. I decided not to continue studies for the sacred priesthood after the pastoral year experience. This decision sounded abrupt to many persons who knew me as an ambitious seminarian.
At the same time, they did not know my inner struggles with an academic performance I did not consider my standard while in Bambui. I saw myself heading in for a mediocre performance scoring a Bene Probatus in the B-Phil. When I received these results, I told myself and kept it within me that Bambui Seminary was not a conducive environment for my academic flourishing. This was at the early stage of my Pastoral year experience, but I did not discontinue the work because the priesthood was still my objective and target. I was settling in for a priesthood with great academic scholarship, taking after the example of my admiration of the life of Bernard Fonlon. When I decided to discontinue my studies from STAMS Bambui, I made my reasons very clear. I did not say I was not going to be a priest, I simply said I will not continue studies in STAMS Bambui for the sacred priesthood. I made this known to the Bishop, vocation Director and to my family. They received this news wrongly. For them, I had refused to become a priest and I needed to suffer. There were alternative places to study for the priesthood like the Catholic University in Yaounde and even out of the country. I thought of the Jesuits but then, years of formation frightened me. The four years I had to complete in Bambui were too many and I could not make a choice that will subject me to long periods of formation. I tried my own ways elsewhere and I did not have the finances to study in L’UCAC. I was reminded by some family members that they had the means but they were not going to support the choice of a devil. I also told them that priesthood is gift and it is not given to everyone by force. I later took up the study of the German Language in Goethe Institut Yaounde. I knew I was going in for real scholarship now and then priesthood after. Instead of the six months for the German language, I did it for four months and passed the Zertificat Deutsch owing to my Bambui background in Latin and Greek.
After successfully completing the German Language, I needed admission for studies in Germany. There was no one who was going to do this for me. Based on my connections and friends, I obtained a teaching job in the language school Akademia Nauki, OLSZTYN, Poland. While in the city, I had exposure to learn Polish and improve on my German language skills. The seminary formation had endowed survival skills that catapulted me to the life of stardom in this city. Apart from being an English language teacher, I was a motivational speaker of African studies in Polish Universities. There were occasions where I had several occasions to present academic discourses to German students from the city of Frankfurt on German colonialism in Cameroon and the transfer of Cameroon to Britain and France as mandated territories. That I did all these in German for at times two hours. I cannot even explain how the inspiration and vocabulary flew so easily. I gave my discourses in German for the German audience and also for the Polish interpreter to explain in Polish for the polish audience. I was more fluent in German than polish, especially in addressing an audience in schools and Universities. I was also recruited by the polish third division team after one test match where I scored three goals in a winter-snow infected environment. I was full of celibate energy and the slippery nature of football fields in winter served to my favour. I could easily out-smart all defenders. None of them could measure my speed. Football also gave me a blossoming life where I became an agent for advertising Pepsi drinks, Foreign Language learning and dancing schools. I saw my progress from grass to grace. There was money and life was enjoyable but I kept wearing my cassock during masses. One polish priest was interested and gave me the opportunity to give him assistance. I was taken in the Euphoria of my stardom, I kept my relationship with the Archbishop of the German-Polish city of Olsztyn jealously but I had no recommendation to back me up.
To reach out to more people and children in particular, I took part in events as the football star and episcopal representative. This happened in the month of April, where children had celebrations. I became a public figure and nothing about me was hidden in this city. The camaraderie in football was interesting and it was highly characterized by night club activities after weekend matches. The football colleagues noticed signs of piety in me and they made futile attempts to corrupt me with liquor and women. They noticed I had an iron will and I could not easily be derailed from my objective. Some girls and ladies wrote to me on several occasions asking why I thought I had to be a priest. They reminded me I had a job and I needed to be responsible with a family. I was getting 27 years with no future either as a priest or a married man. I was still firm on academics. I kept reminding them the will of God will prevail. Some little children advised me against the ambition of priesthood. They advanced the argument that I had a lot to offer like a country squire, given my football exploits, youthful exuberance in dancing all types of music and passion for academic work. I also compared their arguments with innocent voices from Cameroon telling me the priestly garments fitted me so well. I used to be a gallant in my soutane. All these controversial counsels created nothing but confusion. However, I saw nothing contradictory between my life and the priesthood, just that I was no longer ready for a traditional-type seminary. I was now thinking of a liberal priesthood in nomine Christi.
Later, I got admission to a German language school in Berlin to complete the language course and continue with studies. Most people did not believe I really wanted to study. Most of the University students who listened to my discourses referred to me as a cool Professor from Cameroon. They advised me to go to (KUL) Katholische Universiteit Lubelska (Lublin), where Pope John Paul II was teacher and Chair of Ethics and Philosophy. (They said I spoke like a professor yet I did not even have a Bachelor’s degree. I had my Bene Probatus from Urbaniana. This did not impress me. The waters started getting muddy when my resident permit was stolen through a well organized mafia. My landlord did everything to rescue me in vain.
The Archbishop wrote to the immigration office to give me a resident permit so I could continue studies. The Lady President of the city declined this request providing a strong argument, which requested I go back to Cameroon and begin the process. The public service requested for my documents/Certificates based on recommendation from the Archbishop, and my language school to offer me a teaching job before my departure to Cameroon. I presented the certificates and the Urbaniana Bene Probatus was found wanting. It was like my output was better than my papers. I was like a split personality. I was a person who did not resemble his certificates. I had now degenerated from grace to grass. The star of the city was now an illegal immigrant, whose working documents were changed to those of a refugee. Some persons advised me to accept the status and stay in white man country. This was not possible for someone who had become a pichichi. I declined the status, and I believed in myself. I requested for a flight ticket back to Cameroon. I did this to the displeasure and dissatisfaction of many families in this city.
On the eve of my departure, a lady by name Beata, CEO of Berlin Chimie in Olsztyn shed tears. I used to teach her English and German. I told her I was going to come back. She had no child and she remembered the pastoral counseling services I administered to childless mothers. While in Cameroon, they called and asked me if I needed assistance. I told them I was going to do so at the appropriate time. Till now, I have not done so but I plan to visit them especially the football team, the language school and the dance school. When I returned to Cameroon, the wisest decision was to get enrolled for a Bachelor’s degree in L’UCAC based on the painful experience of certificates rejected as if they were fake documents. I did my Bachelor’s degree in L’UCAC in 2007, and afterwards I just continued with masters thanks to the financial support I received from my elder. I believe that God’s hand is always on the life of the innocent and the honest. While studying Masters I had the necessary connections with professors who advised me to register for PhD in Chaire UNESCO of Central Africa based in Brazzaville, Congo. It was very challenging because this was a prestigious institution, where all students were expected to write their thesis in French. No English Cameroonian had received admission in this school. I had no profile to follow. Many Anglophone elites working in the Ministry of Higher Education in Yaounde told me it will not be easy to have admission. I believed in my self and I had decided no quarter was to be given to mediocrity. Out of the 25 students who applied, a rigorous selection took place for a period of one year giving only three places for PhD. Transcripts of previous studies, research proposal and one’s curriculum vitae were presented. I knew I had all these and that I was not going to have a rival. At this time, I had written two books and published four articles. I received admission and subsequently recruited into the University of Bamenda in 2012. This recruitment gave me the necessary resources for studies and flourishing in the world of academia. I knew I did not have problems with academics. Rather I could have financial constraints. But getting a job as a lecturer in the University with regular financial means provided an added impetus for me to blossom.
Now, I am growing back from grass to grace within the academia. I used seven years to move from the position of assistant lecturer to the grade of Associate Professor. Now, I should be going in for the last stage as full Professor. I have not forgotten the priesthood. I joined Opus Dei as a means of redeeming my episcopate. I visited Rome in 2014. I had a letter for the present Pope. His flexibility and open-minded are blessings to some of us who aspire for great positions in the Church. I foresee some serious and devoted ex-seminarians being ordained priests and consecrated Bishops or even appointed as cardinals. The students I teach in UBa refer to me as His Eminence. I cannot decline the voice of the people. I did not decline the title of pichichi-07, given that God used his unworthy servant to demonstrate His Glory and Power in soccer.
The Bambui seminary gave me the necessary skills for resilience and survival in different spheres of life. Though my life out of the seminary looked like the life of a fish out of water, I was able to adapt and exploited the language skills I developed to build a career for myself. Even public speaking and writing skills were well developed in STAMS Bambui. Writing is not a major problem for me. I wrote my PhD thesis in 6 months. Why I could defend within 2years 8 months of my admission. To publish a book or article is not a major difficulty. I remain grateful to STAMS for developing these dispositions I had. I have to recognize great teachers like Fr Christian Mofor, Fr Michael Neba, Fr Waidim and Fr Henri Peeters who taught us Latin and Father Tardze who taught Greek. Though I deserted STAMS Bambui, I do acknowledge the baggage of moral and intellectual skills I got.
Now, I am an Associate Professor specialized in Philosophy of Education. Chair of Philosophy at: Higher Teacher Training College of the University of Bamenda – Cameroon & visiting lecturer to the Catholic University of Cameroon (CATUC), Bamenda; I am founder of the Philosophy of Education Society of Cameroon (PESCAM) and President of Next Generation (NextGen) Institute, Cameroon. My research interest centers on equity pedagogy, democratic education, cross cultural studies, politics and education, multicultural education, ethics of education, education to good citizenship, forgiveness and reconciliation rituals in the culture of soccer, and human flourishing. I am the Academic consultant of the Liliane Foundation on breaking down barriers#2 research works to improve on the lives of persons with disabilities. I am continuing the contract for Breaking down barriers#3 on Community–Based Rehabilitation CBR-matrix. I just completed my professional development (PD) fellowship of the joint grant of the Jacob’s Foundation and the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Development in the University of Michigan I have been nominated for the position of African representative for the Social Policy committee of the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Development (ISSB). Further, I have membership in many academic societies like the Philosophy of Education Society of Great Britain, the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Development, Cercle des Philosophes Camerounais (CERCAPHI), International Network for Philosophers of Education, North American Association of Philosophy of Education, and Education initiative “Human Education in the Third Millennium” and CAMSEE Cameroon Society for English Speaking Evaluators.